What's going on behind door #13?

What could be nicer during the run-up to Christmas than a nice romantic meal for two? Good food, fine wine, the candlelight sparkling off the glasses... Wes Bentley's even dressed up in his Santa suit. But Rachel Nichols doesn't appear to be very amused. In fact, she seems quite uncomfortable. It almost looks like she's been tied into that chair...

Door #12 opens

AiP is putting together the songlist for its annual creepy carol concert. Do feel free to add your own suggestions...

Away In A Mangler
Blood King Wenceslas
O Little Town Of Deathlehem
I Saw Three Shivs
In The Shriek Midwinter
Slay Amid The Winter’s Snow
We Three Kings Of Gorient Are

Behind door #11...

It’s Bess Armstrong!

Since today is the 11th, I thought we’d take a look at 11th Victim, a TV movie from 1979 that I dimly remember watching as a teenager. Bess plays a TV journalist in Des Moines who finds out about her younger sister’s secret life as an L.A. prostitute after said sister is murdered (she’s the titular eleventh victim). Apparently, the story was inspired by the Hillside Strangler case, itself dramatized several times since. With no video or DVD release, however, 11th Victim has become a bit obscure so there’s little chance of me seeing it again, which is a shame because it sounds like prime Anchorwoman In Peril fodder.

TV Guide said it “had potential, but was defeated by the usual TV-movie budgetary restrictions and desire to exploit rather than explore a ‘hot’ issue”. I know... Like exploitation is a bad thing! Anyway, I must have agreed on some level because I reviewed it in my own film guide at the time thusly: “Slick TV movie succeeds as an exploration of the sleazy side of life in Hollywood but, as a thriller, is flat and unexciting”. Did you know I’ve been keeping a record of all the films I watch since I was 13? Eat your beard off, Leonard Maltin!

Time to open door #10!

With year-round snow and a population consisting entirely of elves and reindeer, Norway is the most Christmassy country in the world... Really. It also gave us one of the best straight slashers of recent years, Fritt Vilt, a.k.a. Cold Prey, which is twice as scary as it is icy (making it very scary indeed!). A sequel was released in Norway in October, and will hopefully be making its way around the rest of the globe soon, no doubt on the back of a flying reindeer. Rejoice!

Who's behind door #9?

TWO beloved actors with DOZENS of TV-movie roles between them share a birthday today. Yes, it's Beau Bridges and Michael Nouri... Love the hats, guys!

Beau, who turns 67, will be forever remembered (by me) for his association with two of the most memorable titles ever given to TV movies: 1992's The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom and 1989's Everybody's Baby: The Rescue of Jessica McClure. (Seriously, I don't think there's a day that goes by without some TV station in the world showing that one. And I think it's usually Movies24.)

Nouri's just 63, and his sterling TV-movie work includes the excellent, Barbara Eden-starring thriller Eyes of Terror (1994) as well as a host of Danielle Steele and Sidney Sheldon adaptations.

Happy 9th Day of Madvent, gentlemen! Oh, and enjoy your birthdays too.

Who's behind door #8?

It’s Roddy McDowall in a cravat to die for!

If you’re feeling like a little Yuletide fun with the Rodman, you could look out for his turn as Bob Cratchet in the George Burns Comedy Week episode Christmas Carol II: The Sequel, but I’ve absolutely no idea how to get hold of it. For an easier festive fix, try the superior snowbound psycho-thriller Dead of Winter instead... You won’t regret it. My review here!

Something fishy behind door #7

Betcha forgot Jaws: The Revenge was a Christmas flick, didn’t you! Not only that, but it features today’s Unconvincing Shark Attack Of The Day! Read on, you lucky, lucky people...

Unconvincing shark attack of the day: The festive edition!

Today in USAOTD, we take a look at a shark attack sequence that relies purely on clever editing and a technique known as “flying shark teeth comin’ atcha” to achieve its effects... Someday I’ll write a proper, full-length article about the brilliant, highly TV movie-like Jaws: The Revenge but, for now, let’s concentrate on its memorable opening scene, featuring Sean (son of Martin) Brody:


Picture it... Amity... 1987... It’s Christmas time but – oh no! – a buoy-type-thing has got all tangled up in the bay!


“No worries, I’ll poke it with a stick.”


“Argh! Flying shark gnashers!”


“Argh! No arm!”


We interrupt this shark attack to bring you shots of a joyful Christmas scene for maximum irony. (And, why, yes... Christmas IS annual!)


“Hello! Still missing an arm here! Perhaps if I lean tantalizingly over the edge of the—”


“Argh! Flying shark gnashers again!”


Sean’s been swallowed whole... and now the boat’s sinking. On the plus side, it looks like he managed to fix the buoy.


But what a MESS!